I just read in today's newspaper that George W Bush recently had a slime-mould beetle named after him. Boy! What a popular guy! He's now rampaging the insect world.
The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi apparently sent Goran Persson, his Swedish counterpart 24 bottles of wine because the latter was so aghast at the thought of drinking British wine which Tony Blair offered when he hosted the European Union Summit in Brussels - this must surely rank as diplomacy at its best. The last thing the world needs right now is to go to war over wines.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
THE DANCE OF THE MUSES
They gallop away like a frenzied mare
That can't be tamed or saddled
Emotional tornadoes in no one's care
Why should a deceitful mind be cradled?
I once saw a fairy with her magic wand
Which she waved and the world wore a smile
Even the ducks were laughing in the pond
And they could be heard for a mile
'Oh, Fairy!' I cried, 'take me with you to the land of peace
Take my heart in your beautiful hands
Make me as happy as those laughing geese
Whose tornadoes are banished from their heartlands.'
She turned on me and horror crossed her face
With a wave of her wand, she was a witch
In a frenzy, she tore at her beautiful lace
She ripped it stitch by beautiful stitch
'You cursed beast,' she shrieked, 'your decaying soul has cast a rotten spell
That has turned my beauty into ugliness
The tornado that has seized your soul and broken its shell
Should be killed or you'll never know happiness.'
Gales swept the world and the geese were sad
And the Fairy's wand lay broken
The birds were dying, the animals went mad
Mournful cries were heard, no words were spoken
I ran away and sat by the stream feeling very wicked and powerful
Suddenly the nightmare became a dream
The howls were music even if they were mournful
'Satan's on his throne,' I chirped, 'and all's well with the world
The birds and beasts are just like me.'
My eyes gleamed and in a smirk my lips were curled
The cause of their misery I was happy to be
I heard the tinkle of laughter that sounded like silver bells
I saw the Dance of the Muses in a silver glow
I wondered if they could break cursed spells
Or if more misery would follow
I stood mesmerized by the dance and the birds began to sing
The animals were silenced as silver stars rained
And little silver bells began to ring
The wind became quiet as if suddenly chained.
Whiteness washed over me and such peace I had never known
That I fell on my knees and wept my tears
As the beautiful silver light shone
The tornado was crushed and so were my fears...
The Fairies now laughed and danced and the animals joined them too
The sun smiled broadly, the birds continued their song, and the sky turned a deeper blue
Now, I felt less powerful but more strong.
That can't be tamed or saddled
Emotional tornadoes in no one's care
Why should a deceitful mind be cradled?
I once saw a fairy with her magic wand
Which she waved and the world wore a smile
Even the ducks were laughing in the pond
And they could be heard for a mile
'Oh, Fairy!' I cried, 'take me with you to the land of peace
Take my heart in your beautiful hands
Make me as happy as those laughing geese
Whose tornadoes are banished from their heartlands.'
She turned on me and horror crossed her face
With a wave of her wand, she was a witch
In a frenzy, she tore at her beautiful lace
She ripped it stitch by beautiful stitch
'You cursed beast,' she shrieked, 'your decaying soul has cast a rotten spell
That has turned my beauty into ugliness
The tornado that has seized your soul and broken its shell
Should be killed or you'll never know happiness.'
Gales swept the world and the geese were sad
And the Fairy's wand lay broken
The birds were dying, the animals went mad
Mournful cries were heard, no words were spoken
I ran away and sat by the stream feeling very wicked and powerful
Suddenly the nightmare became a dream
The howls were music even if they were mournful
'Satan's on his throne,' I chirped, 'and all's well with the world
The birds and beasts are just like me.'
My eyes gleamed and in a smirk my lips were curled
The cause of their misery I was happy to be
I heard the tinkle of laughter that sounded like silver bells
I saw the Dance of the Muses in a silver glow
I wondered if they could break cursed spells
Or if more misery would follow
I stood mesmerized by the dance and the birds began to sing
The animals were silenced as silver stars rained
And little silver bells began to ring
The wind became quiet as if suddenly chained.
Whiteness washed over me and such peace I had never known
That I fell on my knees and wept my tears
As the beautiful silver light shone
The tornado was crushed and so were my fears...
The Fairies now laughed and danced and the animals joined them too
The sun smiled broadly, the birds continued their song, and the sky turned a deeper blue
Now, I felt less powerful but more strong.
WELCOME TO BANGALORE!
This was written in 1989 - I'm putting it up here because it's more relevant than ever today!
Traffic jam on the pavement
Ditches center, left, and right
Your eyes bulge in amazement
To me, it's a common sight
A whistle in the air
It's the invisible cop
He's made himself a chair
On a car top
The cow glared
The yuppie swore
You no longer cared
There couldn't be much more
Don't lose heart
In this city many adore
Survival is an art
Welcome to Bangalore!
Traffic jam on the pavement
Ditches center, left, and right
Your eyes bulge in amazement
To me, it's a common sight
A whistle in the air
It's the invisible cop
He's made himself a chair
On a car top
The cow glared
The yuppie swore
You no longer cared
There couldn't be much more
Don't lose heart
In this city many adore
Survival is an art
Welcome to Bangalore!
ZAPPED!
Daniel: "I found this one, she's really good
She's kind, she's caring, she's never rude
You must meet her, she's the new girl in my life
She's really different and better looking than my ex-wife!"
Emmanuel: "Oh! C'mon Daniel, not again
I've heard all this many times, all in vain
Relax a while, you try too hard
And that's why you never play the right card."
Daniel: "She's got long copper hair, huge black eyes
She's so gentle, she wouldn't even scare the mice."
Daniel was so smitten, Emmanuel just had to see
Who his friend's new girl could be
Off they went to Daniel's place
Emmanuel, eager to get a peek at her face.
When they reached, said Emmanuel
"Where's she? Don't see her Daniel."
Pointing to the garden, said Daniel,
"There she is, my new female Cocker Spaniel!"
She's kind, she's caring, she's never rude
You must meet her, she's the new girl in my life
She's really different and better looking than my ex-wife!"
Emmanuel: "Oh! C'mon Daniel, not again
I've heard all this many times, all in vain
Relax a while, you try too hard
And that's why you never play the right card."
Daniel: "She's got long copper hair, huge black eyes
She's so gentle, she wouldn't even scare the mice."
Daniel was so smitten, Emmanuel just had to see
Who his friend's new girl could be
Off they went to Daniel's place
Emmanuel, eager to get a peek at her face.
When they reached, said Emmanuel
"Where's she? Don't see her Daniel."
Pointing to the garden, said Daniel,
"There she is, my new female Cocker Spaniel!"
Monday, December 19, 2005
Medical Transcription - the 'empty' world
YOU ARE KING!
To be good at medical transcription, you must have a clear understanding about the roles of all involved players.
First of all, there's you. Forget the customer, YOU are King. Do not underestimate your powers. You have the power, for instance, to determine whether 52-year-old John Smith, the Caucasian male who came in for a hernia repair, leaves the hospital with name, age, gender, and race intact.....or if he even leaves, alive. He could be dead in YOUR hands before the doctor even gets to him. So, you, dear MT, are not just King - you're GOD.
Then, there's the doctor; more specifically, the BAD dictator. Bad doctors are an occupational hazard. Take them in your stride. Like everybody else who ever comes into your life, bad dictators too teach you something about yourself you didn't know....like, you're perfectly capable of having multiple homicidal ideations in a single 8-hour shift, but you don't act on them: You're great at resisting temptation ! You know a lot more adjectives than you think. You believe in prayer power. You can be really nasty and reject this report right now....ok, not that...so, moral of story: DO NOT Find Job.....job will find you (do not worry).
And THEN, there's the insurance company. If you want to worry, worry about these guys because if you miss the 'r' in John Smith's hernia, these wicked guys won't pay his "henia" bill which will ensure that you get ANOTHER dictation (by the SAME bad doctor) tomorrow (on the SAME patient) for a myocardial infarction - which is what John Smith will have when he takes a look at his "henia" bill - and please, you don't go and miss the 'r' again in his infarction.
Then, there's AAMT, the Boss - or BOS for short. Be mildly concerned about the AAMT. They will wake up every once in a while and tell you what hyphens to drop and what Romans to convert to Arabic (I'm talking about numerals, silly).
Contrary to what everyone will tell you, the patient should be the least of your concerns. I mean, c'mon, John Smith is not my rich uncle. Why should I care? Does he care that we get up at 4:30 a.m. to rush here and sit in front of our system and go to sleep while pop-ups fly around saying, "Link please", "where's the link?" "Link??", "LINK!!!!" and other such urgent messages? Not only does not NOT care, he lies there 10,000 miles away and offloads HIS problems on YOU. He's the most selfish player here, so please, just ignore him.
So now for Moral of Story: To be a good MT, the only thinkg that you need to be really concerned about is, when's your next weekly off.
~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST - with apologies of Oscar Wilde
First of all, if you haven't read "The Improtance of Being Ernest", do so immediately. It answers Shakespeare's eternal question "What's in a name?" and poses one of its own "What's not?"
Now, on to more pressing matters. Every single letter in a medical transcript is important. Sometimes, a wrong letter can can mean the difference between life and death. Here's an example: How many times do you type the word 'diet' in your report? And in how many combinations? Healthy diet, advanced diet, regular diet, clear liquid diet, pureed diet. Suppose you dropped the 't'?...or you substituted 'd' for it...wouldn't that make a huge difference? It may be one small 't' for you, but it's one giant leap (into the next world) for the patient. See what I mean about a life and death difference?
Healthy died - a technical impossibility.
Advanced died - second stage of death?
Regular died - I suppose we can live with this one (no pun).
Clear liquid died - death by drowning?
Pureed died - don't even go there.
If you're still not convinced, try this one for size. This example is not strictly medical though it might qualify under psychiatry: After months of American occupation of Iraq, President Bush recently said that they now that it was IRAN all along that had ties wtih Al-Qaeeda and not IRAQ. Wow! So now, there's a real possibility, like Jay Leno said, that "Bush bombed the wrong country because of a typo." So, take car when your tping.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUR FAVOURITE DOCTORS
The Good Doctor: Starts with Hello or Good Morning. Says Please and Thank you a lot (“can you please change this? Thank you”, “can you please strike that out? Thank you”, “can you please cancel this dictation after typing 6 pages for half an hour? Sorry, thank you very much”). If he ever has to say ‘sternocleidomastoid muscle,’ he makes sure he spells it out. Ends with “Have a nice day.”
The Bad Doctor: Starts with a yawning Good Morning and ends with a yawning something-you-don’t-understand. In between, he sleeps. If he ever has to say ‘sternocleidomastoid muscle,’ he manages to make it sound like ‘Spiderman.’ Tries to help by spelling ‘muscle’…and spells it wrong.
The Ugly Doctor: Starts with a growl and warns you his reports are verbatim. There’s a slight problem with that: he doesn’t know grammar, and he misspells everything but keeps warning you not to meddle with his report. Dictates hair-raising drug dosages and lab values that could only fit an ape. “Just you try and change that,” he warns you.
The On-call Doctor: He’s covering for someone else and like all people who cover for someone else, he’d much rather be somewhere else. His favourite phrases are “I’m not sure,” and “I think, maybe”. Starts with “I’m Dr…uh…err…Dr…Dr…Dr…” he struggles to get his name out and you wonder if he could possibly have forgotten his own name.
The Confused Doctor: Starts with a cheerful “Good Morning” and then turns to someone and asks, “it IS morning, isn’t it?” Dates the visit in the 20th century and tells you midway that it’s the date of birth (giggles). Switches merrily between “he” and “she”, “left” and “right”, and “hand” and “foot” throughout. Turns to someone and asks (at the end), “Am I in the right place?”
The Whispering Doctor: He sits on a highway with 18-wheeler trucks roaring past and whispers. In addition, he sounds like someone is holding his head under water, and by the time you finish transcribing the report, you desperately wish you could have that honour. Says “Thank you” very loudly at the end.
Dr. Wren and Martin: Uses only one preposition, “in”; one verb, “are” and 3 genders, “he”, “she”, and “it.” Remarkably grammar-free and very very happy with himself.
So, have a nice day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU...
It did to me! What you're about to read is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God. Doctor: "Good Morning. I want to make a change to a report that I dictated in 1995. I don't have the report number and I can't remember the patient's name, obviously, (and I hope to God I'm in the right hospital), but I want to change Chief Complaint from "cat bite" to "monkey bite" and the part where I said "The patient tells me he sometimes feels very catty and has to resist the urge to lap up milk from a bowl", I want that changed to "The patient tells me he sometimes feels like a monkey and has to resist the urge to swing from trees." I want these corrections made on the original job. Find it. It must be SOMEWHERE. I repeat, DON'T SEND THIS AS AN ADDENDUM."
He practically yelled into my ears....and he sounded just like Al Capone. I was shaking like a leaf in a snowstorm. I don't know about you, but I scare very easily. This was a doctor. An American one. Probably Republican...and you know how dangerous THEY are. They're all unarmed and dangerous....except President Bush, of course, who's armed and dangerous. I sit at my workstation with a chief complaint of my own: Diaphoresis and atrial flutter. If I defy this doctor's orders, who knows, they could bomb Bangalore (they've certainly bombed other places for far sillier reasons.....like, being unable to find a reason) and I didn't want to be famous like that. And can you imagine what would happen to my US QA if they bombed us ? So I run up and down between floor one and floor four trying to find someone who knows what to do with this report. None of us are really sure, but I get plenty of opinions.
Opinion 1: Type everything verbatim and post it (and buy yourself a gun for protection).
Opinion 2: No!!! Are you nuts?? Put it in tech with a note "Veterinary Report".
Opinion 3: Do that only if you want to get sued; if you don't, delete the job.
Opinion 4: Delete it?!?! But isn't that a HIPPY violation?
Opinion 5: What is HIPPY violation?
Opinion 6 (my opinion): Open window. Jump.
Okay people, back to work...What? Oh, you want to know what I did with the report ? I rejected it. Now, turn off your autoselect and enjoy the remains of your day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~
To be good at medical transcription, you must have a clear understanding about the roles of all involved players.
First of all, there's you. Forget the customer, YOU are King. Do not underestimate your powers. You have the power, for instance, to determine whether 52-year-old John Smith, the Caucasian male who came in for a hernia repair, leaves the hospital with name, age, gender, and race intact.....or if he even leaves, alive. He could be dead in YOUR hands before the doctor even gets to him. So, you, dear MT, are not just King - you're GOD.
Then, there's the doctor; more specifically, the BAD dictator. Bad doctors are an occupational hazard. Take them in your stride. Like everybody else who ever comes into your life, bad dictators too teach you something about yourself you didn't know....like, you're perfectly capable of having multiple homicidal ideations in a single 8-hour shift, but you don't act on them: You're great at resisting temptation ! You know a lot more adjectives than you think. You believe in prayer power. You can be really nasty and reject this report right now....ok, not that...so, moral of story: DO NOT Find Job.....job will find you (do not worry).
And THEN, there's the insurance company. If you want to worry, worry about these guys because if you miss the 'r' in John Smith's hernia, these wicked guys won't pay his "henia" bill which will ensure that you get ANOTHER dictation (by the SAME bad doctor) tomorrow (on the SAME patient) for a myocardial infarction - which is what John Smith will have when he takes a look at his "henia" bill - and please, you don't go and miss the 'r' again in his infarction.
Then, there's AAMT, the Boss - or BOS for short. Be mildly concerned about the AAMT. They will wake up every once in a while and tell you what hyphens to drop and what Romans to convert to Arabic (I'm talking about numerals, silly).
Contrary to what everyone will tell you, the patient should be the least of your concerns. I mean, c'mon, John Smith is not my rich uncle. Why should I care? Does he care that we get up at 4:30 a.m. to rush here and sit in front of our system and go to sleep while pop-ups fly around saying, "Link please", "where's the link?" "Link??", "LINK!!!!" and other such urgent messages? Not only does not NOT care, he lies there 10,000 miles away and offloads HIS problems on YOU. He's the most selfish player here, so please, just ignore him.
So now for Moral of Story: To be a good MT, the only thinkg that you need to be really concerned about is, when's your next weekly off.
~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST - with apologies of Oscar Wilde
First of all, if you haven't read "The Improtance of Being Ernest", do so immediately. It answers Shakespeare's eternal question "What's in a name?" and poses one of its own "What's not?"
Now, on to more pressing matters. Every single letter in a medical transcript is important. Sometimes, a wrong letter can can mean the difference between life and death. Here's an example: How many times do you type the word 'diet' in your report? And in how many combinations? Healthy diet, advanced diet, regular diet, clear liquid diet, pureed diet. Suppose you dropped the 't'?...or you substituted 'd' for it...wouldn't that make a huge difference? It may be one small 't' for you, but it's one giant leap (into the next world) for the patient. See what I mean about a life and death difference?
Healthy died - a technical impossibility.
Advanced died - second stage of death?
Regular died - I suppose we can live with this one (no pun).
Clear liquid died - death by drowning?
Pureed died - don't even go there.
If you're still not convinced, try this one for size. This example is not strictly medical though it might qualify under psychiatry: After months of American occupation of Iraq, President Bush recently said that they now that it was IRAN all along that had ties wtih Al-Qaeeda and not IRAQ. Wow! So now, there's a real possibility, like Jay Leno said, that "Bush bombed the wrong country because of a typo." So, take car when your tping.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUR FAVOURITE DOCTORS
The Good Doctor: Starts with Hello or Good Morning. Says Please and Thank you a lot (“can you please change this? Thank you”, “can you please strike that out? Thank you”, “can you please cancel this dictation after typing 6 pages for half an hour? Sorry, thank you very much”). If he ever has to say ‘sternocleidomastoid muscle,’ he makes sure he spells it out. Ends with “Have a nice day.”
The Bad Doctor: Starts with a yawning Good Morning and ends with a yawning something-you-don’t-understand. In between, he sleeps. If he ever has to say ‘sternocleidomastoid muscle,’ he manages to make it sound like ‘Spiderman.’ Tries to help by spelling ‘muscle’…and spells it wrong.
The Ugly Doctor: Starts with a growl and warns you his reports are verbatim. There’s a slight problem with that: he doesn’t know grammar, and he misspells everything but keeps warning you not to meddle with his report. Dictates hair-raising drug dosages and lab values that could only fit an ape. “Just you try and change that,” he warns you.
The On-call Doctor: He’s covering for someone else and like all people who cover for someone else, he’d much rather be somewhere else. His favourite phrases are “I’m not sure,” and “I think, maybe”. Starts with “I’m Dr…uh…err…Dr…Dr…Dr…” he struggles to get his name out and you wonder if he could possibly have forgotten his own name.
The Confused Doctor: Starts with a cheerful “Good Morning” and then turns to someone and asks, “it IS morning, isn’t it?” Dates the visit in the 20th century and tells you midway that it’s the date of birth (giggles). Switches merrily between “he” and “she”, “left” and “right”, and “hand” and “foot” throughout. Turns to someone and asks (at the end), “Am I in the right place?”
The Whispering Doctor: He sits on a highway with 18-wheeler trucks roaring past and whispers. In addition, he sounds like someone is holding his head under water, and by the time you finish transcribing the report, you desperately wish you could have that honour. Says “Thank you” very loudly at the end.
Dr. Wren and Martin: Uses only one preposition, “in”; one verb, “are” and 3 genders, “he”, “she”, and “it.” Remarkably grammar-free and very very happy with himself.
So, have a nice day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU...
It did to me! What you're about to read is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God. Doctor: "Good Morning. I want to make a change to a report that I dictated in 1995. I don't have the report number and I can't remember the patient's name, obviously, (and I hope to God I'm in the right hospital), but I want to change Chief Complaint from "cat bite" to "monkey bite" and the part where I said "The patient tells me he sometimes feels very catty and has to resist the urge to lap up milk from a bowl", I want that changed to "The patient tells me he sometimes feels like a monkey and has to resist the urge to swing from trees." I want these corrections made on the original job. Find it. It must be SOMEWHERE. I repeat, DON'T SEND THIS AS AN ADDENDUM."
He practically yelled into my ears....and he sounded just like Al Capone. I was shaking like a leaf in a snowstorm. I don't know about you, but I scare very easily. This was a doctor. An American one. Probably Republican...and you know how dangerous THEY are. They're all unarmed and dangerous....except President Bush, of course, who's armed and dangerous. I sit at my workstation with a chief complaint of my own: Diaphoresis and atrial flutter. If I defy this doctor's orders, who knows, they could bomb Bangalore (they've certainly bombed other places for far sillier reasons.....like, being unable to find a reason) and I didn't want to be famous like that. And can you imagine what would happen to my US QA if they bombed us ? So I run up and down between floor one and floor four trying to find someone who knows what to do with this report. None of us are really sure, but I get plenty of opinions.
Opinion 1: Type everything verbatim and post it (and buy yourself a gun for protection).
Opinion 2: No!!! Are you nuts?? Put it in tech with a note "Veterinary Report".
Opinion 3: Do that only if you want to get sued; if you don't, delete the job.
Opinion 4: Delete it?!?! But isn't that a HIPPY violation?
Opinion 5: What is HIPPY violation?
Opinion 6 (my opinion): Open window. Jump.
Okay people, back to work...What? Oh, you want to know what I did with the report ? I rejected it. Now, turn off your autoselect and enjoy the remains of your day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Miraculous Messages from Water
http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm
Absolutely fascinating article on water!
Excerpt from the article on this page: "The photographs and information in this article reflect the work of Masaru Emoto, a creative and visionary Japanese researcher .......These photographs show the incredible reflections of water, as alive and highly responsive to every one of our emotions and thoughts. It is quite clear that water easily takes on the vibrations and energy of it's environment, whether toxic and polluted or naturally pristine.
Masaru Emoto's extraordinary work is an awesome display, and powerful tool, that can change our perceptions of ourselves and the world we live in, forever. We now have profound evidence that we can positively heal and transform ourselves and our planet by the thoughts we choose to think and the ways in which we put those thoughts into action."
Absolutely fascinating article on water!
Excerpt from the article on this page: "The photographs and information in this article reflect the work of Masaru Emoto, a creative and visionary Japanese researcher .......These photographs show the incredible reflections of water, as alive and highly responsive to every one of our emotions and thoughts. It is quite clear that water easily takes on the vibrations and energy of it's environment, whether toxic and polluted or naturally pristine.
Masaru Emoto's extraordinary work is an awesome display, and powerful tool, that can change our perceptions of ourselves and the world we live in, forever. We now have profound evidence that we can positively heal and transform ourselves and our planet by the thoughts we choose to think and the ways in which we put those thoughts into action."
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