George W Bush beetle!

I just read in today's newspaper that George W Bush recently had a slime-mould beetle named after him. Boy! What a popular guy! He's now rampaging the insect world.

The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi apparently sent Goran Persson, his Swedish counterpart 24 bottles of wine because the latter was so aghast at the thought of drinking British wine which Tony Blair offered when he hosted the European Union Summit in Brussels - this must surely rank as diplomacy at its best. The last thing the world needs right now is to go to war over wines.

THE DANCE OF THE MUSES

They gallop away like a frenzied mare
That can't be tamed or saddled
Emotional tornadoes in no one's care
Why should a deceitful mind be cradled?
I once saw a fairy with her magic wand
Which she waved and the world wore a smile
Even the ducks were laughing in the pond
And they could be heard for a mile
'Oh, Fairy!' I cried, 'take me with you to the land of peace
Take my heart in your beautiful hands
Make me as happy as those laughing geese
Whose tornadoes are banished from their heartlands.'
She turned on me and horror crossed her face
With a wave of her wand, she was a witch
In a frenzy, she tore at her beautiful lace
She ripped it stitch by beautiful stitch
'You cursed beast,' she shrieked, 'your decaying soul has cast a rotten spell
That has turned my beauty into ugliness
The tornado that has seized your soul and broken its shell
Should be killed or you'll never know happiness.'
Gales swept the world and the geese were sad
And the Fairy's wand lay broken
The birds were dying, the animals went mad
Mournful cries were heard, no words were spoken
I ran away and sat by the stream feeling very wicked and powerful
Suddenly the nightmare became a dream
The howls were music even if they were mournful
'Satan's on his throne,' I chirped, 'and all's well with the world
The birds and beasts are just like me.'
My eyes gleamed and in a smirk my lips were curled
The cause of their misery I was happy to be
I heard the tinkle of laughter that sounded like silver bells
I saw the Dance of the Muses in a silver glow
I wondered if they could break cursed spells
Or if more misery would follow
I stood mesmerized by the dance and the birds began to sing
The animals were silenced as silver stars rained
And little silver bells began to ring
The wind became quiet as if suddenly chained.
Whiteness washed over me and such peace I had never known
That I fell on my knees and wept my tears
As the beautiful silver light shone
The tornado was crushed and so were my fears...
The Fairies now laughed and danced and the animals joined them too
The sun smiled broadly, the birds continued their song, and the sky turned a deeper blue
Now, I felt less powerful but more strong.

WELCOME TO BANGALORE!

This was written in 1989 - I'm putting it up here because it's more relevant than ever today!

Traffic jam on the pavement
Ditches center, left, and right
Your eyes bulge in amazement
To me, it's a common sight

A whistle in the air
It's the invisible cop
He's made himself a chair
On a car top

The cow glared
The yuppie swore
You no longer cared
There couldn't be much more

Don't lose heart
In this city many adore
Survival is an art
Welcome to Bangalore!

ZAPPED!

Daniel: "I found this one, she's really good
She's kind, she's caring, she's never rude
You must meet her, she's the new girl in my life
She's really different and better looking than my ex-wife!"

Emmanuel: "Oh! C'mon Daniel, not again
I've heard all this many times, all in vain
Relax a while, you try too hard
And that's why you never play the right card."

Daniel: "She's got long copper hair, huge black eyes
She's so gentle, she wouldn't even scare the mice."

Daniel was so smitten, Emmanuel just had to see
Who his friend's new girl could be
Off they went to Daniel's place
Emmanuel, eager to get a peek at her face.

When they reached, said Emmanuel
"Where's she? Don't see her Daniel."
Pointing to the garden, said Daniel,
"There she is, my new female Cocker Spaniel!"