THE HUMBLE MONKEY STANDS UP TO BE COUNTED

"O, hear me all ye mortals, I have something important to say,
(Ignore this precarious coconut tree perch)
I just met Darwin the other day.
I said to him, 'Sir, I believe in Adaptive Radiation..'
To which, he drew himself up and replied rather impressively, 'Sir...' (yes, he called me that)
'Your posishun in the scheme of evolushun is a rung below mine,'
(He scratched his beard, perhaps for a simian touch)
'Besmirch not my reputashun, Mankind likes me fine.'
(When his brow knitted, I had to wonder whether we were separated by a rung at all)
'Hear me, dear ancestor,' I said, 'I've been here longer than you,
I've spoken to the dinosaur, I've spoken to the dodo, and to the cockroach too.'
(When he gnashed his teeth, I had to wonder whether our rungs had been exchanged.)
'No debate shall ensue, Sir,' he thundered
'My theory has survived religion
Sparring with you will consign to oblivion
All previous records establushed by our class
For descent from the sublime to the ridiculass.'
(When he snorted, I had to wonder whether your class had descended from the bull)
'O, hear me all ye mortals, I have something important to say
I tried to tell Darwin I agreed with him but I happened to lose my way
And when I lost myself, I found the Truth
And the Truth has set me free:
I challenge his theory of Variashun
(Men are all alike, you see)
I refute his allegations of Overproducshun
(My class is a dwindling populashun)
With his "Struggle for Existence" theory, I totally agree
But I still have a problem with the "Survival of the Fittest"
(The extinct dinosaur has put that to the test)
O, hear me all ye mortals
No race has survived so well like your own
(But certainly, your class is not the fittest in town)
Prophets proclaim "the meek shall inherit the earth one day"
In Darwin's absence, please allow me my say:
(Darwin is busy, now Mars needs a theory of evolushun)
All things considered, man is as timid as a mouse
(Except, of course, maybe in his own house)
So, the meek have already inherited the earth
(In our Animal Kingdom, your class is the object of much mirth)
And, Eureka! Religion did win after all
Despite Darwin's claims so tall."