Yes, I'm fooled

Twenty years ago, a 27-year-old actress entered the sanctum sanctorium of the Sabarimala temple and touched the feet of Lord Aiyappa, one of the many bachelor Gods in the Hindu pantheon. Women under 50 are not allowed to visit Sabarimala - Lord Aiyappa has personally given strict orders to the fossilized temple priests at Sabarimala that his bachelorhood is in grave danger if a woman under 50 enters his premises - who knows, she might marry Him. Anyway, this woman entered - how dare she - she just materialized out of thin air, got into the sanctum sanctorium, and she touched the idol. That's the only way she could've got past the oh-so-holy fossil who is oh-so-faithfully guarding his Lord. She touched the idol's feet! Blasphemy! At least blasphemy if you did all this without greasing the palms of the fossil who's guarding his Lord. Not blasphemy if fossil sells tradition for money.

The fossils in Sabarimala and some fellow who calls him the "Devaswom" minister in the Kerala cabinet are baying for this actress's blood now - 20 years later. Like the Queen in "Alice in Wonderland" who keeps screaming "Off with her head." How did all this come to light? Because another fossil (in the guise of an astrologer) claimed publicly that Lord Aiyappa is hopping mad that someone has contaminated His aura and He needs to be cleansed (by the fossils who guard and protect Him from things like His devotees). This someone is either a non-Brahmin or a woman - again, this was personally whispered by Lord Aiyappa in the fossil astrologer's ears - all these guys are so holy (and so fossilized) that they have a direct hotline to the Lord...and when they don't they can read His mind.

When the actress heard about this, she confessed her "sin" to the Sabarimala fossils and also faxed an apology (Lord Aiyappa rocks, man. He'd rather have a faxed apology than someone rolling around His premises beating their chest and making asses of themselves begging for His forgiveness. A fax is neat and simple). The fossils assured her that her apology will be accepted by the rocking Lord Aiyappa and her "confession" will be kept confidential.

But you know how irresistible the media can be. Especially if you have one foot in the grave and the other in your mouth. So now we have a raging controversy. Of course, every other problem in Sabarimala has been solved. They just have to get this actress's blood for the "sin" she committed 2 decades ago, and lo and behold! Sabarimala will become...well, God's Own Country.

Lord Aiyappa definitely needs a holy bath to cleanse Him. Cleanse Him from who's touch? That's debatable.

Scream loudly about other people's sins and no one will notice your own. Nice try. Works sometimes.