I've just about had it with this city's traffic. I've found a new mode of transport. It's called the One-legged Hippity Hippity Hop. All you need is a pair of good legs.
No driving license, no parking hassles, no traffic lights - it's your ticket to anywhere anytime.
Monday August 16, 2007, 9:30 a.m.: I've just hopped into an air-conditioned office where the receptionist (a cross between Jennifer Aniston and Shilpa Shetty) gives me a head-to-foot once over. "I want to see your manager," I rasp breathlessly. She gets up, she's chewing gum, she's been poured into her clothes, and she never takes her eyes off me till she ducks around the corner and trills "There's a kangaroo in to see you."
Monday August 16, 2007, 5 p.m.: I'm hippitying to the grocery about half a kilometer away when a car zips past next to me, a window rolls down, and I'm showered with coins. "HEYYYYY!" I scream "Come back, come back. Look, look," I jump up and down with both legs and I thank God I can't see myself. I pick up the coins, count the change, and pocket it.
Tuesday August 17, 2007, 11 a.m.: I've hippited in to a gift shop. Everyone stares at my left leg which I've folded backwards 90 degrees at the knee and forgotten to lower. I decide to brazen it. I point at my legs and shrug and twitter. Everyone shrugs. No one twitters though.
Wednesday August 18, 2007, 9:45 a.m.: I'm in a mall. I've come to the parking lot and I put my legs down and sit down to rest. The security guy blows his whistle angrily at me. I get mad. I mime a steering wheel and back out in reverse humming "Here comes the bride" on the top of my lungs. Then, I shift gears, zoom in again, park, and jump out of my air car. "Happy?" I snarl. His whistle and jaw drop. I go back and lock my car.
Thursday August 19, 2007, 10:30 a.m.: I'm still hopping around in the cool mall, shifting legs every now and then. I get plenty of eyeballs and cat calls. I feel like a Babhi doll.
August 22, 2007, 9:30 a.m.: Oh, I think I missed 2 lunches and 2 dinners. This doesn't seem like such a good idea after all.
August 22, 2007, 5:30 p.m.: I'm in a shop looking for stilts...
12 comments:
Trying to imagine how Beng aluru street would look if everyone embraced your hippityhop.
By the way, did you say you were hippityhopping to the beats of hiphop?
LOL @ Babhi doll.
Air car driving is so awesome...I should certainly try once...just for kicks.....
And a cross of Jeniffer Ansiton and Shilpa Shetty???? Ahhh....the neutral.
Thank you DS for visiting and commenting! Best, Aparna
Anonymous,
Wouldn't Bengaluru be paradise again if we all took up just a legspace? heh heh heh
Good thought! Why not music if you're hopping!
Thanks for visiting!
Aparna
LOL. It's past midnight here on the East Coast and I was tucking in my various blogs when I ran into this.
Thank you.
Tell me something - when someone is throwing money at you for being an invalid, why would you want to correct them?
You need a Segway.
-bpsk
Hi BPSK - you're tucking into blogs past midnight!?! Wow!
Yes, I know - might as well just grab the coins; what's in a leg anyway ;-)
What's a Segway?
segway = the new personal transporter, but real unlike your air car
http://www.segway.com/
Thank you, it's Wow!
Segway or Ginger or It, was supposed to be the next BIG THING. Several police departments in the US have Segways for their cops that previously used to walk a beat, since it can go upto 20 kmph & increases their height by a foot.
The reason it got so much hype was because it was invented to solve the kinds of traffic problems you describe. According to its inventor, Dean Kamen, "500 million car trips per day in the United States are less than 5 miles and single-passenger, and if only a percentage of those used a tiny electric car instead, the positive effects could be considerable." Not to mention a substantial payday for Kamen himself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Segway
Wow! Thank you for this very interesting bit of info BPSK - really appreciate your time and effort! Bangalore could really do with some of those! It looks kind of cute too, I checked the link you gave me.
"No driving license, no parking hassles, no traffic lights - it's your ticket to anywhere anytime." Pretty much the same with cycling, although I must admit I'm quite paranoid about parking it. But then, I dont get stopped by lousy cops on month end and I reach office faster in peak hour traffic.
@BPSK - Segway as a gadget is cool, but then there's already a something thats better although relatively low tech - bicycle.
Hi Shreelesh! Thank you for visiting and commenting - do come back :-)
Best,
Aparna
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