Every mediocre job interview eventually comes around to: "....okay, so tell us something about yourself..."
I'd give my right arm to be able to say to them:
1. Oh, I'm an axe-murderer just out from a medically induced coma (very softly with a smile)
2. I'm a nun, a none, a none-nun....hehehehehe...that's N-O-N-E space N-U-N...of your business....hehehehe....whatever
3. I'm...uh...I'm....I'm sorry, what did I say my name was? (in wide-eyed panic)
4. I'm bored (yawning noisily)
5. I'm the Alpha and the Omega, I'm the Now and the Evermore, I'm Sin and Divinity, the All and the Nothing, the up and the down, the left and the right...err...should I go on? Or should I get down?
6. I'm hungry (jumping up and rummaging through drawers)
7. I'm your future boss. Say hello to me nicely (offering a handshake)
8. Ok. That's it! You'll hear from my lawyer (over my shoulder as I storm out)
9. I'm unarmed and dangerous...hehehehe....just kidding....hehehehe...I'm actually armed...hehehehe
10. I'm what somebody lost and you found....I'm serendipity (batting my eyelids)
2 comments:
Add one more to the list by saying in my secret life, I can jump tall buildings in a single bound, I am faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a steaming locomotive, and when I do take a dive in the ocean, you will hear about tsunamis on TV.
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